Clean up Aisle 5!

In step aerobics class, I nearly fall off the step (or try to tip it over) once per class. The instructor doesn't even turn around. When she hears it, she says: "L are you ok?" Somehow (!) she knows it is me. After class, I was explaining what a klutz I am. Both T and C said: "Oh no! You re not klutzy!" Mmm-un-huh. Ok.

I left class and went to Wally World. I wanted to pick up a few items. I found some colored duct tape (it comes in patterns: leopard and zebra print!) and some spray paint. I was trying to get a can. I ended up bumping another can off the shelf and it fell on the floor. The cap broke and it started spraying everywhere! (oh no, I'm not klutzy #sarcasm!). The nozzle stuck and would not quit spraying. I set everything in my hands down. In total frustration, I picked up the can and whacked it against the floor. Finally it quit spraying. One problem solved.

So, I set the mangled can on the paint table. I was going to get another can when the sales associate came up behind me to ask if I needed help. He startled me. And yes! I knock another can to the floor (#waytogome). The cap broke but fortunately, it did not spray. I was nearly in tears.

The poor sales associate (all of maybe 18 years old) was so sweet. He obviously has not had much training in dealing with weepy women in the hardware section. He said it happens about once a week (I swear it isn't always me). The mess would be cleaned up and not to worry. At least he didn't get on the loud speaker: "Clean up needed on Aisle 5. She's on the move. Clean up on Aisle 4. Clean up wherever this woman goes!"

Bucket List Addition

I know y'all think I'm crazy...but I'd like to ride an emu! I drove around the countryside this weekend trying to find the emu farms. They must not be as popular as they were 15 years ago. One had been sold and subdivided. The other was destroyed by the April tornadoes. Bummer dude!

I thought about ostriches. But they are 9 feet tall, 350 pounds, with talons like a velociraptor. And tend to be quite cranky. I did see a u-tube video of someone riding an ostrich on vacation in Kuala Lumpur (in Malaysia). But Malaysia is really far from here...best I can tell it is halfway around the world.

So, looks like a field trip to Tennessee! Anyone want to go along for the ride?

When?

When will I ever learn that office lunches never turn out well? I must be a slow learner. I would do better to sit at my desk. People often ask why I eat lunch with Cletus so much. Simple: we do not talk about work. We do not have unappetizing conversations. We relax and eat and enjoy the time away from work.

Nerves

I'm getting a little nervous about this upcoming high school reunion. All the little school insecurities are creeping back to the surface. "What if they don't like me?" ...maybe there is a reason why I have not seen these people in years?

It is like the first day of a new school year. How I had to have the "perfect" thing to wear. And I called up my friends to see what they were wearing. Heaven forbid I end up being a fashion twin. Or worst yet, a fashion dud. Somehow over the summer, I had hoped to turn from a duck into a swan...

...I still feel like a duck.

Mystery

I have a question for all you dog lovers: What in the world is my dog missing in her diet for her to eat every one of these (pictured below) that she can find?

Sixteen Again!

Just got the notification that plans are in the works for my high school reunion. Yes, hard to believe that next year will be my ten year reunion. Ok, more like the third anniversary of my ten year reunion. Yikes!

How is it that this one little email can cause a panic attack. After all of these years, those pesky high school insecurities are resurfacing! I am a grown woman with a college education, a career, a 22 year marriage and two teenagers. And suddenly I'm 16 again, feeling like a goofy geek. This cannot be happening to me...

Sizing it all Up

Ok, so it is the start of a new year. Every other commercial is telling us to lose weight and get in shape, ugh. While I was out shopping I picked up this shirt. I got home and was ready to wash it when I looked carefully at the label:


Am I reading this right. In Asia, I am considered a 3XL? And in Japan a 4XL. Oh my! I need to get my sorry butt back to the gym!!!

Grace Strikes Again

I fought the law(n) and the law(n) won, as the song goes...sort of. Yes, I managed a full fledged face plant into the front yard on Friday night. Ouch!! It happened so fast that I did not have time to try and stop my fall. That is one of those good/bad things. Good: I did not re-break my arm. Bad: I took it on the chin (literally). I'm sure it would have been a Kodak moment...thankfully no one saw me, except the dog. And she is the reason I fell in the first place. I did managed to bend my toes backwards. I don't think that I broke any...but they sure does hurt!

Drivin' Mizz Daizy

Ever since Tdawg got his learner’s permit, he wants to drive everywhere. We have started out on the back roads. It takes some noodling to figure out clear routes and to make sure there is a traffic light to cross the “big roads”. He has done very well. He has good instincts. He is slowly becoming less afraid of oncoming traffic. He blew it big time the other day when he patted my knee and said “Haw ya doin’ Mizz Daizy”. Sadly I had a flash-forward to the days when my driving privileges are revoked due to age and he is my sole source of transportation. Oh dear, I feel old!

My Mother's Daughter

Ahhh, sometimes I am my Mother. I have so much to do. So, I feel the urge to sit down, have a cup of coffee (ice tea, in my case), put my feet up and think about it...just like Mom would do. Mom also passed on her list obsession to me. It really is a just coping mechanism for the overwhelmed. Or in my case, I just love crossing things off of the list. I have been known to add things to my list that are already done...just so I can mark them off! (There must be a 12 step program for that!) But for now..so far this morning, I have packed my stuff for vacation; took Tdawg to the dentist; grocery shopped; ate lunch; got Tdawg's haircut; went to the bank; went to the post office; got a watch battery, washed, dryed and folded a load of clothes, loaded the dishwasher and stopped by the pharmacy. Not bad...seeing as it is only noon thirty. I would call that a rather productive morning. So, time for a break. Still have to help Buddy pack and organize the food and pool toys. Phew. I may have to have two glasses of tea!! Or better yet...a nap.

Fabulous! Simply Fabulous!!

I went to a party last night at Going Goofy's house. We all just had the best time laughing and telling stories with friends. One of the best things was Lovedaysday's brother cooked for us. He has no choice but to blog his food ideas. He just doesn't understand just how cuisine challenged we are. So, I got a great idea for his blog name: "On the Way Gourmet". But then I decided that I liked "Gourmet on the Way" better. There ya go J. Now all you have to do is type in your magical recipes.

Fortune Cookie

I don't put too much thought into the message that I get in my fortune cookie...but this one really is true. It said: your surrounding friends will take good care of you. And they have!! I'm blessed to be able to call some amazing and astounding women my friend!

Alumni Donation

Most of the trip to Denver was sad and depressing...mixed with a lot of hard work. We had to go through my Dad's things. Since he had lived in the house since 1958, he accumulated a lot!! He was an avid golfer and love to find treasure...that is lost golf balls. So, we had plenty to give away. I called WRHS (my alma matter)and asked the golf team if they would appreciate them. They naively said "Yes". So Sissy and I put them in hefty sacks as full as we could lift and drove them over. As I was going into the high school, the principal was coming out. It turns out that I know him! We graduated the same year. He was the star quarterback. It was a little surreal to see him there. You should have seen his eyes pop when Sissy and I unloaded at least 12 hefty bags of golf balls! Sadly, we still had more! I don't think that they will be calling on this alum for any more donations!!

A little knowledge...

A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. I was trying to customize this page. I flipped out a few minutes ago when the whole blog was blank! I panicked and called Mrs. Goofy. Who goes shopping at 8:30pm?? That's ok. I finally got the pictures, text and my old format back. Whew. I think that I will quit while I'm (almost) ahead.

I'm Back...sort of

Hi all. Sorry for the interruption. I have been completely out of sorts. It is going to take awhile, I fear. Yesterday, I forgot my pin for the debit card. I'm usually so good with numbers...I am an accountant after all. I know that grief affects people differently. Mine seems to be slowly losing my mind. If men are like waffles and women are like spaghetti...my spaghetti feels hopelessly tangled and about 15 feet high. Yes, there is a lot on my plate right now. The message that our pastor spoke about this morning really spoke to me. He asked how we respond to the adversity that comes into our life. For me, some days are better than others...

Frienemies?

I read an interesting article about frienemies. These are the interesting relationships you have with co-workers. Under normal circumstances, you and the co-worker would never be friends. But since you have to work with this person, you form an alliance of sorts. I always wonder what it is that God wants me to learn from this person and this situation. If they annoy me, I look at what behavior aggitates me. More likely than not, I also posses this trait.

Surprise!

It is rare that my husband can pull off a surprise. It isn't his fault...I should have been some kind of investigator. I can find the tiniest clue and piece it all together. But with the help of a co-worker, he absolutely floored me today. He sent a Barbershop Quartet to work to sing "Let me call you Sweetheart" and another tune I didn't recognize. They also gave me a card and a rose. It was incredibly sweet! I was the color of a tomato, not just my face but my neck too!! I will post the rest the pictures later. Love the first one. I'm on the phone with hubby trying to figure out why my co-worker is taking my picture. Then I see four guys in suits and I can't determine why on a Friday there is so much commotion. I heard someone say "are they going to sing?". Huh? What? Oh no, he didn't. But sure enough he did! The singing was excellent and everyone on the floor came to enjoy the performance. I hate being embarrassed. But hubby is still a keeper. It's been 22 years since he proposed and I'd still say YES!

Inquisition

My son, Tdawg, is very inquisitive. I had to look up and explain how night vision goggles worked last week. This week he had two questions. Do penguins have legs? Why, yes, they do!

And what about woodchucks...do they chuck wood? No, it is another name for a groundhog. They are also called a whistlepig. Just thought you would like to know what happens when I get home from work. I get asked bizarre questions!

So WHY didn't I think of this?

The son of a friend of mine is unhappy. He thinks that Santa did not bring him all that he is entitled to. So, he is writing a letter of appeal to Santa. Crap! Why didn't I think of this first? I wonder if there is a statute of limitations? Can I go back, um, 28 years (ok, 28 Laurie years)?? I just thought that it was so funny! This little boy is writing a novel to Santa detailing everything good he did throughout the whole year. Of course, his memory is a little bit faded and doesn't recall the rotten times that cancel out two good deeds. I'm eagerly awaiting Santa's response to the dilemma.

DSL (again)

Sorry about the interruption in service, folks. We just are not having much luck with DSL. In six months, the tech has been out four times. And now we are on our second wireless router. Cletus and I have decided to throw it all out in the front yard if we have to call a tech one more time!!