Christmas Paintings for Tdawg

After I got over my feelings of inadequacy, I painted my own artwork.  It is silly...although that may be the way artists are.  It is reported that Renoir and Monet would compete.  Liking the others works better.  I understand that Picasso used to burn his work that he was dissatisfied with.  

My life as a Clint Eastwood movie...

Well, this it the post of the good, the bad and the ugly. The good: phone is fixed (free...and not my fault). The Jeep is fixed (under warranty).

The bad: while the Jeep was still in the shop, the truck broke down.  So as soon as the Jeep was out, the truck was in.  Sadly not under warranty...although that would be a really long warranty. But it too is now fixed.  Fingers crossed for the rest of the vehicles. 

The fridge is still not fixed.  The new ice maker motor is in.  Mr. Appliance Guy installed it and...it still doesn't work.  He thinks that there may be a short in the system.. Sadly the system is stuck in the innards of the freezer door.  So still no ice maker.  Bummer.

And the ugly.  Tdawg had an x-ray and an MRI.  He has torn the labrum in his shoulder.  So we will trek down to the Ham on Monday for the pre-op appointment.  Not sure when that surgery will be.  Hopefully the doc will say that it is an easy arthroscopic fix.  In the meantime, my life is on hold.

Speaking of which, even though I have lots of time...I'm still behind.  Grr.  I think it is procrastination.  Yeah, I can get that done later.  Well, all of a suddenly it is later!  O Crap.  (and by the by, O Crap should be a Christmas carol.  I'm sure it would be popular).

Sadly, with my semi-poor status, I am making most of the Christmas gifts.  I do enjoy it.  However, I tend to be a bit overzealous with my plans.  So if you get a picture/drawing instead of an actual gift...you can be sure, I'll get around to it...someday.

How you live

We have talked a lot lately in Sunday school about how your testimony is mostly non verbal.  When tested, how do you react.  Generally, not as well as we wish we would.  I guess because of all of the discussions, I am hyper aware of my reactions.

On a good note, I went to the doc.  She put me on low dose estrogen.  Every time I had a hot flash my blood pressure would shoot up 50-60 points.  We are trying as little as possible and reevaluating after the first of the year.  So far, the night sweats have stopped and I'm almost back to a normal range of temperatures and my blood pressure is on an even keel.

Thanksgiving was a mix of good and bad.  It was great to have Tdawg home.  He has had a rough semester.  I haven't seen much of him, so it was so nice to be able to cook and talk.  It was just the four of us for the actual turkey day.  Nice and low key.  I cooked enough for an army...and many plates went back with Tdawg to college.

My sis and bil came in just for Friday night dinner at Phil's.  It was a fun night of reminiscing. The rest of the weekend was mostly spent watching movies and relaxing.  Just the way I like it.

However, the ice maker broke.  If you try to use the ice machine, the breaker trips and the whole fridge shuts off.  Lovely. Fortunately, as long as you don't mess with the ice maker, the fridge and freezer stay blessedly cold.  Thankfully, we bought the extended warranty (we never do that) and so it should be fixed tomorrow and free.

The phone inexplicably quit working.  We don't use our home phone that often, so not that big of a deal.  It isn't on our end, so it should be fixed by Thursday and free.

The Jeep we just bought has a bad master cylinder!  Yikes.  Thankfully, also under warranty.  The mechanic said it has been occurring frequently.  Some Jeeps only have 800 miles on them.  Well, at least it is fixable and free!  Should have it back by next week.  (So glad it didn't breakdown half way to the Ham.  You might ask, what is halfway to the Ham= nothing!)

While picking up drinks at the local gro, Buddy slipped and fell in the parking lot.  Quite the sight to see all 6'6" going down. Scared both of us.  He was shaken up but uninjured.

Tdawg's shoulder is bothering him again.  The trainer has him set up for an MRI on Turesday.  I'm hoping it won't require surgery.  Finals are almost next week.  Then he is off until February. 

I was feeling overwhelmed anyway. I have a lot of Christmas projects that I may not finish. :(   And then all of this.  I know most of it is small.  But such a hassle to call these 1-800 numbers to set up repairs.  Ugh!  So, I just wanted to kick back.  I was watching The Voice and gunshots rang out.  My goodness.  In the 'hood?  Yes, some jerks are spotlight deer hunting behind our house.  Good gravy Lucy, can we just have a little peace and quiet?  I called the sheriff's office (they don't care).  But the Game Warden cares!  Hopefully, they can nab the idiots.  Seriously, we are in a neighborhood.  And not that far from the highway.  Someone is going to get hurt!

Life should calm down now, right?  Well, not so much.  My father in law called. Interesting.  Haven't heard from them in almost two years. I hope this isn't opening a can of worms (as my mother would say).

Some days, I feel as though I'm being tested.  Standing in the furnace with Rack, Shack and Benny. As with most, I have good days and not so good days.  I let someone cut in line ahead of me at Walmart. I should get a crown for that?  Sometimes, getting out of Walmart without slapping someone is crown worthy!  Maybe I need just a little more work!

Clothing optional?

Well, the big 5-ut-0 is turning out to be an adventure.  I am now having hot flashes.  First of all, I take exception with that terminology.  (kind of like when shots just feel like a pin prick.  Um, no they don't!).  My flashes are more like trips to the blast furnace with Rack, Shack and Benny.

Last weekend, I walked out onto the driveway in a tank top and announced it was glorious.  A glorious 38 degrees that is.  Oh dear.  Hubby was starting to suspect, so I finally told him.  He had the deer caught in headlights look. Run boy, RUN!  He has heard so many horror stories.  Who knows, they may all be true? Or even watered down (this won't hurt a bit...yeah, right. you mean it won't hurt you a bit!).  He proceeded to ask me hourly: "Are you ok?"

Flipping marvelous.  Thanks for asking...again!  Ugh.

On a positive note, I think we will save a lot on electricity this winter.  And blankets will be passed out at the front door for you brave enough to come visit. :)

I used to think that Sherijello was crazy when she spoke of moving to a nudist colony.  Now, I think she is a freaking genius!!  Amazing how inhibitions depart when you are in your own personal blazing furnace.  I actually wondered how little clothing I could get by wearing to last weeks football game.  I may want to attend only the clothing optional events for awhile.

On the negative side, I still have my defective thyroid to contend with.  So when I'm not in the furnace, I'm back to being freezing cold.  All in all, my thermostat is broken! Isn't getting older glorious?  Hmm...I'll have to get back to you on that one.

Again

I'm back..  I appreciate the concern.  I'm really ok.  I think it was a combination of self imposed standards and insecurity and midlife crisis.

I read the other day that life begins at 40, up until then it is all practice.  Ha ha.  Well now that I am (cough cough) 50! I would think that I would be better adapted after all of that practice.  And left the old childhood insecurities behind. Um, not so much.

I just need to focus on being the best me that I can be. And not pay attention to the rest of the world..My wise friend and unpaid therapist asked me; why I impose different standards upon myself than I judge others by.  Not sure. I appreciate and better like the uniqueness and creativity in others.  But dislike my own creations. I like to have something mastered without going through the draft stages.

I have always been way over achieving in my goals. Thus setting myself up for grief and often failure.  For example, years ago I decided I wanted to sew.  What project do I tackle: plaid pants (yes, matching the plaid at the seams).  I nearly drove myself nuts.  I just can't seem to approach in a progressive manner.  I always want to jump ahead. 

I guess I just think big.  And being the youngest, strive to out do.  If you want to motivate me, just tell me that I can't do something.  I'll show you!  I may be part bulldog.  Actually I'm the product of my German (stubborn perfectionist) mother and my Scottish (stubborn superior attitude perfectionist) father.  I'm not sure which one I am more like.  Trying to suppress both of them!

In the meantime, I am working on setting small achievable short term personal growth goals. I am exercising daily.  Running three times a week.  Reading more.  Taking an online class (on The Walking Dead). And just trying to make the most of each day.

And spending more time thinking and doing for others.

Not Yet Above the Line

I read something the other day that has really stuck with me.  "Before, people were created to be loved and things were used.  Now a days, things are loved and people are used."

The world loves (worships) money (and all it buys: i.e. status).  If you are a stay at home mom, a home schooling mom, taking care of a disabled person or your aging parents/in-laws, or if you yourself is disabled...you are not valued.  Is that all you do?  You are viewed as not contributing to society, because the people you are caring for are not valued.

It is hard to live in this world, without living in it.  Does that make sense?  It is hard to make your way in this crazy world without getting caught up in the craziness.  My friend and former Sunday school teacher called it: living above the line.  Living according to what God finds worthy, not what society is chasing at the moment. 

Funkified

I'm in such a funk. We dropped off Tdawg at college and I met Shellie. She is the mom of one of Tdawg's roommates. She is really nice...but for some reason it just seemed that she is everything that I am not.  She is easy breezy, vivacious, funny, beautiful, athletic, successful.  She painted the guys a picture for their room.  My jaw dropped.  Really?  Oh yeah, she is an art major from Auburn and has her own graphic design firm.  So she just whipped this up the night before.

And I felt like a chubby sweaty dork.  Amazing how all of our insecurities can flood back in a blink of an eye. So, after that, I didn't feel like painting anymore. There are so many that can paint better than I can...I just felt why bother.  Thousands of people knit (better than I can), so why bother...

 

...The analyst in me knows that I'm having identity issues.  Who am I?  I'll always be a Mom...but the kids are grown up.  No career.  And it doesn't seem like I do anything special or especially well.  Being the best Me that I can be, just doesn't seem to be enough.

PCB 2013

 I love the beach... so relaxing! The sunsets were breath taking! 

 Cletus and I after 26 years, loved our morning walks. Cletus got out with the metal detector, but no luck.  Last year he found me a large serving spoon.  No jewelry or rare coins yet.

One of our neighbors was teaching me how to Stand Up Paddle board.  I don't have the balance to stand up.  Next year, for sure!

 Buddy and I chilled on the beach while the boys fished.

 Would love to try and paint this.  Amazing colors!!

 The guys fished most nights after dinner.

 Oh yeah, they saw sharks and sting rays.

Tdawg and I went on our first helicopter ride.

 Taking off over Pier Park shopping center.

 Aerial view of our condo.  Cletus is on the balcony!

 Water was a bit murky from rain, but we still saw sharks and rays.  Amazing view!!

 Yes I was scared at first.  But another check on the Bucket List. (I think skydiving is next)

 The food was incredible.  This is Rhode Island red shrimp (jumbo!) with crabmeat wrapped in bacon.  Don't know how they cooked the bacon without overcooking the shrimp. It was the best! Also had Crab Au Gratin.  (I looked up Paula Deen's recipe for Crab Au Gratin...it starts with a stick of butter. Really bad for the diet!)  And Shrimp and Cheese Grits (weird combo but it works!).  And an amazing Pecan Crusted Tilapia. Ooo la la!!  One of the best things about vacay.  No cooking, no dishes!

 Last night and not much bait left.

 Something bit through the metal leader and ate Tdawg's hook!

 But they were determined!

 I gave Buddy my ipod and he had a blast singing on the beach!

It was quite dark and with the last piece of bait! Tdawg caught a blue fish.

Buddy and I also kayak again.  It was fun but I liked paddle boarding better. Tdawg also parasailed for the first time.

But mostly we just hung out on the beach reading and relaxing, while Buddy built sandcastles.  It was nice to escape reality...for awhile.

You may recall last year, when I was driving home from the beach, I hit a buzzard.  Cletus was astounded.  How in the world do you hit a buzzard?  Well, on our way home this year...you guessed it.  Cletus hit a buzzard!  I was dying laughing.  If you watch closely, they are the slowest birds!  And lower Alabama is full of them! It really isn't that hard to hit one.

End of Summer

Weird feeling not having any kiddos going on the bus this morning.  I guess that means they are all grown up.