I've decided that “Gracie Lucy” is the daughter that my mother always wanted me to be. “Gracie Lucy” is a willowy graceful ballerina. She is musically talented and socially acceptable with her white gloves and party manners. Well, we all know what happens when you have expectations….you receive a klutzy, chubby, mud-loving tom-boy.
In the pursuit of making me into “Gracie Lucy”, my mother signed me up for ballet lessons, piano lessons, and charm school. Mom was bound and determined (that would be the classic German stubborn determination) to make me into a lady! The charm course itself would not have been so bad…except one little detail. It was the Wendy Ward Charm School ! I’m sure there are those of you that are not familiar with the now mostly-defunct Wards. It was a department store similar to Sears. They mostly sold tools, appliances, & furniture (nicknamed: Monkey Ward). Not exactly synonymous with CHARM!
Over the course of several (six maybe) grueling weeks, I received instruction through a teacher, the Wendy Ward Charm School manual and homework! It was like boot camp! "Chin up!" "Back straight!" "Do you even KNOW what a fingernail file is?" "Eyes straight ahead!" "Feet at one o'clock!" "SMILE when you say that!" I was drilled on perfect posture, the use of different eating utensils (knowing the difference between the salad, dinner and dessert forks!), how to properly get in an out of a car (with knees glued together) and the all important "one-o'clock" foot position. I learned the Wendy Ward Runway Walk", "GLIDE, girls, GLIDE!!" with my hips forward of my shoulders, my size 10 feet placed: heels on an imaginary line (ok for me a really BIG line), with my short Hobbit toes just to the outside of the line. Thus I would glide, rather like a buffalo, to the end of the runway (actually, it was just a hallway in the back of the store). During this exercise, I vainly attempted to retain my balance. By now I’m sure you have a mental picture ,as well you should, of the lovely dancing hippos in Fantasia!
Oh but wait, there is more! We were “treated” to an outfit of our choosing. We got to wear that outfit as we posed as mannequins in the store on a Saturday afternoon! It was rather amusing to periodically wink at people as they walked by. Sadly, even though I graduated from the course (No Cletus, I did not flunk!), no lady-like tendencies emerged. It did absolutely nothing for my self-esteem and did not foster the ability to glide about gracefully. Since Monkey Ward closed all of there retail outlets in 2001, I have lost any opportunity for a much needed refresher course.
In the pursuit of making me into “Gracie Lucy”, my mother signed me up for ballet lessons, piano lessons, and charm school. Mom was bound and determined (that would be the classic German stubborn determination) to make me into a lady! The charm course itself would not have been so bad…except one little detail. It was the Wendy Ward Charm School ! I’m sure there are those of you that are not familiar with the now mostly-defunct Wards. It was a department store similar to Sears. They mostly sold tools, appliances, & furniture (nicknamed: Monkey Ward). Not exactly synonymous with CHARM!
Over the course of several (six maybe) grueling weeks, I received instruction through a teacher, the Wendy Ward Charm School manual and homework! It was like boot camp! "Chin up!" "Back straight!" "Do you even KNOW what a fingernail file is?" "Eyes straight ahead!" "Feet at one o'clock!" "SMILE when you say that!" I was drilled on perfect posture, the use of different eating utensils (knowing the difference between the salad, dinner and dessert forks!), how to properly get in an out of a car (with knees glued together) and the all important "one-o'clock" foot position. I learned the Wendy Ward Runway Walk", "GLIDE, girls, GLIDE!!" with my hips forward of my shoulders, my size 10 feet placed: heels on an imaginary line (ok for me a really BIG line), with my short Hobbit toes just to the outside of the line. Thus I would glide, rather like a buffalo, to the end of the runway (actually, it was just a hallway in the back of the store). During this exercise, I vainly attempted to retain my balance. By now I’m sure you have a mental picture ,as well you should, of the lovely dancing hippos in Fantasia!
Oh but wait, there is more! We were “treated” to an outfit of our choosing. We got to wear that outfit as we posed as mannequins in the store on a Saturday afternoon! It was rather amusing to periodically wink at people as they walked by. Sadly, even though I graduated from the course (No Cletus, I did not flunk!), no lady-like tendencies emerged. It did absolutely nothing for my self-esteem and did not foster the ability to glide about gracefully. Since Monkey Ward closed all of there retail outlets in 2001, I have lost any opportunity for a much needed refresher course.
2 comments:
Gracie Lucie, you bring back memories of Monkey Wards. What utensil do you eat a mudpie with?
I *love* that photo of you -- the age I believe you are now. Or maybe just yesterday. No picnic being a kraut, eh? Tell me about it. I'm not sure what you married into, but I married into Irish/French/Belgian which easily translates into world-class party animals. Quite a challenge for moi, the petite (wall) flower. Krautflower, I guess. Well, there are worse things to turn into than our parents. Give me just a moment to think about that...
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