Feel the Burn

The definition of insanity according to Albert Einstein is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. My friend, Andy, calls it the pizza burn syndrome. You take a bite of pizza that is too hot and burn yourself. So what do you do? Yup, take another bite! We are such creatures of habit that we do the same thing again and again and actually do expect different results.

Public Speaking

Once a year at work, I have to do training for the whole company. I absolutely hate public speaking. My mother enrolled me in drama and public speaking several times as a kid. I hated ever minute of it! It does not matter who I am talking to, or what I am taking about. Before it is even my turn to speak, my hands shake, my mouth goes dry, I can’t breathe and I feel unusually warm. I have been known to lock my knees and go over like a tall tree.

J, who is a veteran public speaker, told me to just act normally. My co-workers disagreed and said that my acting normally would be a very bad thing! And Mason said “Don’t worry! It won’t matter because no one will be listening to you anyway.” Thanks, I feel so much better now…NOT! Thankfully, the locking of the knees did not happen this time, I was anchored to the podium. However, my hand was shaking so much that my laser pointer was dancing wildly.

Well, I survived. And hope that I do not have to do it again…ever. Not likely.

Monday

If this was me on Sunday...


Then, this was me on Monday...


Payroll was a mess and it seemed like nothing went right. I was ready to fire off a few rounds!

Ho Hum

The rest of the weekend was pretty blah. I have so many balls in the air that I was exhausted by weeks end. I was still feeling a little cruddy. I really did need a weekend to do nothing, even though I felt guilt about not getting anything accomplished. I woke up Saturday morning about 4am out of breath and heart pounding. I think Nyquil gives me nightmares and panic attacks. I finally gave up and got out of bed about 9a on Saturday. I grocery shopped and then collapsed on the couch and watched The Princess and the Frog. That was the extent of Saturday's excitement. It was pretty outside, but I didn't feel like even being outside. Sunday after church all I did was watch Transformers and Transformers 2. I finally slept better on Sunday night. I am so ready for spring! I truly believe that I am solar powered!

Road Trip

It is Spring Break. I can not take off much time from work. But I managed one day off. Nothing cures the blues like a road trip and shopping therapy. So, the boys and I headed to Nashville. Looking back, I really should have printed off a map. I have been known to get lost in much smaller towns. Once in Nashville, with the interstate splits and traffic...I got disoriented. Before total panic set in, I decided to get off the interstate and stop at a nice looking hotel. Surely they would have a map and could provide assistance. Nobel thought. No one was at the front desk (should have given up then). I located a map in the lobby and finally found a maid. She could parrot back to me "map" and "manager". Then a gentleman appeared. I think he was the manager. I showed him the map and where I wanted to go. I asked where on the map was this hotel. (really could have used a "You Are Here" marker). He nodded politely and pointed at the interstate and said: "map, go, yes, you go!". Apparently, he did not speak English and I only speak Southern English. Comically, I was only about three exits from my destination.

The Opry Mills Mall, formerly Opryland amusement park, is huge. It has about 300 shops. It is the only place I know of where you can drink fresh apple cider, wax your eyebrows, watch an IMAX, play Ms. PacMan, watch a banjo being made, pet a stingray, putt-putt in the dark and buy a boat all under one roof.

It is Tdawg's favorite mall. He loves the Nike outlet. They carry shoes to fit him: size 15 shoes! And they have a lot of sporting good stores and a Dave & Buster's. D&B is a Chuck E. Cheese for adults. We had a blast playing Ms. PacMan, Skeeball, Basketball Shoot-Out and Air Hockey. We also played Glow In the Dark Putt-Putt. I do not putt-putt well in broad daylight, therefore, I am down right dangerous in the dark! By the way, it does not help to yell "fore" in a dark building.

It was a great day and time flew much to fast. We were tired and our dogs were barking (southernism for my feet were hurting). I still had to navigate through the rush hour traffic. I got cut off by a big truck and missed my exit when a lady on her cellphone (grrr) tried to sideswipe me. Thankfully, we got home in one piece without any major problems. Tdawg drove part of the way going and coming back, just not on the interstate. It will not be long before he is driving on his own!

Painting Again

I know, I know...I have started painting and I just can't stop. I was not satisfied with the results. But as Hubby points out that I never am. Ah, the tortured artist am I. I wonder if Picasso, Monet, Manet and such were ever satisfied with their work?



After playing around on the computer I think I would like it better with more muted colors. So maybe I'll try again with these colors...

Sniff Sniff

Ok, so it isn't quite that bad. I just do not do sick. I am counting the minutes until I feel better. I have a case of the sniffles. It just packs one side of my head. It makes me feel lopsided. So, I went to Target to get meds. Nowadays, you can hardly find anything on the shelves. Everything is behind the pharmacy counter. But I did locate some Nyquil. I splurged and got the name brand…the good stuff. And I proceeded to check-out. They carded me!! Ah, made me feel good to know that I don't look 21 years old (ha ha!)

Whomever looks at all of these drivers license swipes must think that I lead an exciting life. Last time I got carded was at Wal-Mart. I was buying 5 cans of green spray paint to re-do the patio furniture. So, I have to ask the question…are they now the retail police?? Sure if I were buying 15 boxes of Sudafed, I would expect to be asked questions. But just swiping your license for everything, makes me wonder why Big Brother is so interested.

Don't Tempt Me

I already love The Blues Brothers movie, so this cartoon just owns me!!

Creative Juices

I enjoyed painting the sunflower so much...

...that I could not wait for the next class. The sunflower took two hours. The daisies were tough. They took three hours.

I am not quite satisfied with either picture. But I still I may need a twelve step program before too long...I already can not wait for the next class :-)

Creative Outlet

About a month ago, I had dinner with a group of friends. We all decided that we would like to be eight years old. Laugh like we were eight. Worry about nothing like when we were eight. Eat like we did when we were eight. And most of all play like when we were eight. Miss M. always says that she is God's favorite. So we came up with the name "God's Favorite Eight Year-Olds". It definitely fits us!

We also decided to do something every month. So, for the month of March, we decided to try painting. In the downtown area, there is a wine shop. Two or three times a week, the owner teaches painting classes upstairs. The owner is quite talented and used to paint murals for a living. So, in the span of about two or three hours, you follow along and leave with a masterpiece. Even if you can not paint, you can follow along. Miss M. said that she would have to buy mine because she can not paint...

Everyone left with a sense of accomplishment and a painting was uniquely theirs. And all were gorgeous! It was so relaxing and the perfect diversion...






This is Miss M's masterpiece!

Future Pro Bowlers

I am thinking that we should quit our day jobs and become professional bowlers. I love how they put us in height order. Keep in mind that we are not that short...it is just that Buddy is 6'5-1/2"!

The South Will Rise Again...

In honor of the fact that I have now lived in the South longer than I have lived anywhere else..."I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could!"

Southern women appreciate their natural assets:
Clean skin.
A winning smile.
That unforgettable Southern drawl.

Southern women know their manners:
"Yes, ma'am."
"Yes, sir."
"Why, no, Billy!"

Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions :
"Y'all come back!"
"Well, bless your heart."
"Drop by when you can."
"How's your Momma?"

Southern women know their summer weather report:
Hot and Humid
Hot and Humid
and more Hot and more Humid

Southern women know their vacation spots:
The beach (redneck riviera)
The rivuh
The crick

Southern women know the joys of June, July, and August:
Colorful hi-heel sandals
Strapless sun dresses
Iced sweet tea with mint

Southern women know everybody's first name:
Honey
Darlin'
Shugah

Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:
Fried Green Tomatoes
Driving Miss Daisy
Steel Magnolias
Gone With The Wind

Southern women know their religions:
Baptist
Methodist
Football

Southern women know their country breakfasts:
Red-eye gravy
Grits
Eggs
Country ham
Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with momma's homemade jelly

Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm:
Chawl'stn
S'vanah
Foat Wuth
N'awlins
Addlanna

Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:
Men in uniform.
Men in tuxedos
Rhett Butler

Southern girls know their prime real estate:
The Mall
The Country Club
The Beauty Salon

Southern girls know the three deadly sins:
Having bad Hair and nails
Having bad manners
Cooking bad food

Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit , and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
_____

Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
_____

Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
_____

Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, . as in: "Going to town, be back directly."
_____

Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
_____

All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
_____

Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad.. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
_____

Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
_____

Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
_____

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn. (amen!)
_____

A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb , or an adverb.
_____

Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody!
_____

Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.
_____

In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.
_____

Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
_____

Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
_____

When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
_____

Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
_____

And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say ,"Bless her heart" ... and go your own way.
_____

To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!
_____

And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!
_____

Houston, we have a problem.

Well, the bus did leave the hotel a little after 5a. But that was the only thing on time that day. By the time our flight left at 11:45a (a mere five hours late), Reno had 15 inches of snow! Needless to say, we missed our Dallas connecting flight. We were fortunate to get aboard the next flight...a much later flight. That flight home left Dallas at 8p. Six lovely, glorious, mind-numbing hours in the Dallas airport. Ugh! We finally were able to board at 9:50p. And thought we were homeward bound...maybe. I said half-jokingly that if we were still in Dallas at sunrise, that I was just going to go house-hunting and figure that God wanted me to live in Dallas!

As we neared our home airport, the pilot started talking to us. He called it a "weather activity". To me, an activity is coloring in a coloring book! His idea of "activity" turned out to be a massive thunderstorm. Shortly after chatting with us, the plane was hit by lightning! The whole plane shook and went dark. I was beginning to think that we were really homeward bound. Nothing quite like a "Come to Jesus" meeting at 12,000 feet!

It was WILD! We did manage to land on the right side landing gear and bumped down on the left. We leaned so far that I thought we were going to roll. Oh my! I was never so happy to be back on terra firma. Did I mention how much I hate flying and how the airlines treat you like cattle?

By the time, we got home, it was after midnight and already Monday. I was completely exhausted. I had to go to work in a few hours. I let Buddy sleep in and he slept until nearly noon. He had definitely earned it!!

Winter Wonderland...

After a scant three and a half hours of sleep, I got up to catch the 5a bus. I needed a hot shower. Um, no hot water at all! And I needed caffeine. So I padded out in the hall to fetch a soda from the machine. I ran into K our director. She asked me if I had looked out of the window. I responded: Honey, I hardly have my eyes open. She said, Well...when you get back to your room you might want to take a look. What is that funny looking white stuff? Snow! And LOTS of it!! I should have gotten right back into bed at that moment. Little did I know that I would not be seeing my pillow until the next day!!

And back...

And back to San Fran. Buddy was glad. I don't think that he likes boats very much. We toured the downtown area by bus with a tour guide. Interesting, but we were so tired! After dinner, it was a long dark drive back to Reno. I slept part of the way. But Buddy did not sleep on the bus at all. Donner Pass was snowy and icy and we ended up behind a snowplow the whole way. I was thankful that they did not have to stop to put chains on the bus. We got back to the hotel a little after midnight. I put Buddy to bed immediately and packed the suitcases. It would be a short night. The bus was picking us up at 5am to go to the airport. We had a lot of activity in one really long day!

Escape to Alcatraz

We then took loop around Alcatraz Island. It was not very comforting thinking about the reasons why they used Alcatraz as a prison. One reason was: even if the prisoner escaped, he would be devoured by sharks before reaching land! Oh my!!

Jeannie was a hoot as usual. She saw people walking around Alcatraz and was convinced that they were prisoners. No, Jeannie. They closed Alcatraz a while back. Those are just tourists. Jeannie did not believe me, so she asked her husband who pointed out that they are not prisoners…unless they miss the boat back.

SF Harbor part 2

Sausalito

Angel Island

Harbor boats

Wind boarding (looks like fun!)

SF Harbor Bay Tour

After a couple hours of shopping, we boarded the boat to cruise around the harbor. Despite the chilly conditions (I understand that it is always like that), a lot of people were out boating. We went past the the wildlife first. They were enjoying a peek or two of sunshine.




Then we went out under the Golden Gate Bridge. It was shorter and a different color than I expected. The bridge is only about a mile long and is an odd color of rusty orange. But very impressive!!

San Fran Pier 39

After lunch we had a couple of hours to shop. Pier 39 is quite an experience. I have never seen a more diverse crowd, a true melting pot of people. The mood was quite good. There were quite a few street performers. Most everyone was civil. There were a few idiots. One guy hid behind a trashcan and jumped out to scare people. He seemed a little deranged. And I saw one beggar. He had a sign that said “Why lie…I just want a beer”. It was pretty hard to feel sorry for him. I wondered what it would be like in the summer, probably even crazier!

Lunch!

Lunch was at Bubba Gump’s at Pier 39 in San Francisco. It was amusing for them to ask us how far we live from Greenbow, Alabama. Greenbow is fictional, but if it did exist, I am pretty sure it would be in L.A. (lower Alabama). Probably somewhere near Bubba hometown of Bayou LaBatre, which is a real place, down near Mobile. The food was great and the scenery was awesome, right on the harbor. Our waiter was hilarious! Really made for an enjoyable experience. I was also thankful that they had mac and cheese for Buddy.

Gephyrophobia

By lunchtime, we were crossing the Oakland Bay Bridge.


It is about 8.5 miles long and is one of the world’s longest suspension bridges. I have a gephyrophobia: the fear of crossing bridges...actually of plummeting off of a bridge into icy water. Of course, I could easily recall this picture of the 1989 earthquake...not a very comforting image.


Five lanes headed into San Fran on the top. And five lanes headed back on the bottom! I was glad that I was not driving, I was white knuckled both ways! Even on a Saturday afternoon, the traffic was horrible (by my standards). Ok not quite as bad as this internet photo. But not something I would want to cross everyday.

Surprise Stop

Just outside of Sacramento we made a surprise stop at:

Sweet!!





Yummo. I had already seen how jelly belly's were made on the Food Network Channel. But I was still pretty sure that the fancy machinery was just for show. There must be elves or gnomes or trolls that actually make the jelly beans. I did not see any evidence of that...but you never know. They are small and quick! :-) We got to test taste several jelly belly's on our tour. My new favorite is "Tangerine". Still love Sizzlin' Cinnamon and Lemon. I also like their new flavor "Honey".

I like Jelly Belly's but I was most impressed with the artwork!! That takes some talent!!



Well, we are on a tight schedule so there was not much time for hanging around. Time to head to San Fran, we have lunch reservations.